The Great Rules of Conduct
An Article of the Modern Survival Guide
You can tell a lot about a person by their conduct. You can tell even more about a society by the type of conduct it permits. Hi, you’re reading the Modern Survival Guide, and given that I am an American and the society of the United States is slowly immolating itself on an altar of its own hubris, I think that now might be a good time to return to basics.
Most people have heard of the Golden Rule. I’m here to tell you that you heard wrong. This is important because one’s conduct is important in this wild and crazy world, and there are only a few rules of personal conduct that actually allow what we might term a “civilized society” to thrive. The way I see it, there are four of these rules, and if you and the overwhelming majority of people around can just manage to follow them, society stands a much better chance of thriving.
These are the Great Rules of conduct for civilized life, and many of us follow them without thinking too much about it. Some of us need a little reminder from time to time, and there are a few folks out there who never got the memo. For convenience I’ve assigned these rules a metallic title, ascending in worth as metals have done in civilizations the world over: Bronze, Iron, Silver, and Gold.
- The Bronze Rule: Do as thou wilt, provided that no one else is harmed.
- The Iron Rule: Do unto others to prevent them from doing harm unto you.
- The Silver Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
- The Golden Rule: Do unto others according to their own preferences.
Each of these rules works in a very specific set of circumstances, which is what the rest of this article will cover. Each of these rules is an improvement on the one that came before it. And all of these rules are necessary to prevent a society from being just a collection of barbarians locked in the same room. Read on to prevent yourself from becoming a heathen barbarian.
The Bronze Rule
Do as thou wilt, provided that no one else is harmed.
This is the basic rule of what is commonly termed “freedom,” and is absolutely necessary for any society in which people are expected to wander around more or less doing what they want.
The key part of this rule is on the back half. Provided that no one else is harmed, doing what you want to do is a key part of living a fulfilling life. It is also keenly necessary to carefully articulate this rule, because quite a few people have the tendency to rephrase this as “Do what I want, provided I am not punished,” or the more extreme version of “Do what I want and screw everyone else.”
These phrasings are the rule of a barbarian, a person for whom the concept of living alongside others, and therefore the bedrock of civilization, takes second place to their own desires. There are quite a few barbarians out there, and some of them went to very nice prep schools, so you have to keep your eye out for them. These people are cancer to any civilization they inhabit, but oh my goodness do they have some allure.
Following the Bronze Rule results in a society in which everyone is at least cognizant of and working to avoid the potential difficulties they might cause others, which is a major step up from barbarism.
The Iron Rule
Do unto others to prevent them from doing harm unto you.
The Iron Rule might be better understood as the rule of creating rules. Every society that has an effective police force follows the Iron Rule to some extent, as does every society in which a person is allowed to use force in their own self-defense. Every person who fights off a mugger, turns in a thief, or writes a prenup agreement is following the Iron Rule.
But the Iron Rule goes beyond the simple utilization of force to preserve one’s own interests. It is also the driving rule behind regulation — the concept that a society should use force to preserve everyone’s interests. It is the acknowledgement that the Bronze Rule is insufficient to make a functional society, because an individual is not capable of judging every single instance of harm they might perpetrate by accident, even assuming they are doing so by accident.
Every society with laws is following the Iron Rule, even if imperfectly. The Iron Rule is not only necessary for civilization, it is a large chunk civilization when you get right down to it. But it is not, in and of itself, sufficient for creating a nice society to live in.
The Silver Rule
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
This is what a large chunk of people believe to be the Golden Rule, the maximal expression of morality. Those people are wrong. The Silver Rule is not the maximal expression of morality, although it is a good start. Rather, it is the maximal expression of self-preservation in circumstances of conflict, and the building block of empathy.
The Silver Rule works really well in any situation where you would otherwise expect to be assaulted or inconvenienced. “I should not do this thing, because I do not want others to do it to me,” is a core foundation of empathy based on the concept of avoiding harm.
Similarly, “I should do this thing for someone else, because I would like it if they did it for me,” is a baseline condition for common courtesy and most productive relationships. Merely considering harm is not enough, a good society requires people to start thinking about what other people want and need, and the Silver Rule helps to push people down that path.
These are absolutely bedrock concepts for building a society in which personal security is prioritized and incidence of personal insults are minimized, which is why so many people think this is the Golden Rule. However, the Silver Rule breaks down at the extremes. Suppose, for example, that I am a masochist. If I desire pain, the Silver Rule would state that I should inflict pain on others. Obviously this is not likely to be the correct assessment of others’ desires or preferences in most cases.
Thus, the Silver Rule is largely confined to situations in which we can project what might be called “standard” values onto the proceedings. While most societies do, in fact, have these values, quantifying them and articulating them can get rapidly problematic. Still, the Silver Rule is useful provided that everyone in a society can at least minimally articulate such values, because it sets the stage for a kinder, gentler citizenry. Now, on to the finale.
The Golden Rule
Do unto others according to their own preferences.
The real Golden Rule is to treat people the way they want to be treated. Now, there is something to get out of the way here: you can only follow the Golden Rule in a society which follows all the others. That is because in any society which does not, the Golden Rule becomes the Rule for Suckers. We all saw Fallout; in any situation where a person’s preference is to eat you for lunch, following the Golden Rule just serves you up on a platter.
So why is this is Golden Rule? Well, because in any society where you can follow the Golden Rule, you should. And any functional society should be working at all times to arrive at a point where the overwhelming majority of its citizens can and do follow the Golden Rule.
There are several reasons why this is the case, but it basically comes down to why Russian oligarchs prefer London to Moscow: it’s more desirable to live in a place where you can have friends, where you can trust your neighbor to look out for you, where peace, empathy, and grace are the norms. If everyone follows the Golden Rule, life for everyone is pretty sweet.
That’s really all it boils down to. We’re here for a good time, not a long time, and life is pretty uncertain, so the best society is one in which a good time can be had by all. The Golden Rule is absolutely necessary for such a society.
Following the Rules
A good society follows the Rules. In a good society, I am able to do what I want, provided that others are not harmed. I am protected from bad people by proactive measures. I avoid doing things to others that I would not wish done to myself. And I do things for others that I think they will like, in the expectation that they will do the same for me.
Note that a society gets better for each Rule it follows. A Bronze society is one in which at least people are free to do what they want, more or less. An Iron society is one in which people are at least protected from bad actors. A Silver society is one in which people commonly consider the situation of others. And a Gold society is one in which people are actively helping each other.
Note also that different segments of a single nation might follow different tiers of the Rules. Your community — your local society — might be a whole heck of a lot better than your province or national-level society, or vice versa.
Lastly, note that any society which does not follow the Bronze, Iron, and Silver Rules is going to be hard pressed to get to Gold. A society in which its citizens do not consider the harm they inflict on others, that does not protect its citizens from the bad actions of the barbarians in their midst, and that does not promote values of empathy is simply not going to be in a place where following the Golden Rule is possible.
So, how does this affect you, and why is it in a blog series about survival? Simple. You would do very well to know what kind of society you live in. If you’re not living in at least Silver, life is going to be pretty bad and you’re going to want to work to trade up.
Moreover, here in America we have this constant dream of being able to live in communities where you don’t have to lock your doors — the great dream of a kind, considerate society where there are simply fewer worries because people look out for each other. Living in this type of Golden society requires that we all work to follow the Golden Rule. It is non-negotiable. We’re either all in it together, or everyone gets left out.
Therefore, we should take the existence of the Golden Rule as a call to action. I should work to help out my neighbors. I should work to figure out what my friends and loved ones want. I should make myself available to help out in my community. I should strive to do these things, and help others do the same, and if enough of us do this consistently then pretty soon the Golden society becomes possible.
